THIS IS A LITTLE STORY I WROTE ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO..

THAT’S ‘FUR’ ENOUGH
By
Billy Peterson


I remember once having said “I wouldn’t want any pets around because they’re too much trouble.” Of course, I was single then. By that, I mean I wasn’t married to Jeanne yet.
Jeanne has a hobby. Many people have some sort of hobby but few collect animals. My wife does! Don’t get me wrong. I love animals. It is for this reason I don’t hunt. It’s only that I never know what’s going to meet me at the door at night.

About three months ago, as I walked in the kitchen from work, I spotted this object hovering in the corner. It was a kitten about three and a half inches long. I turned and saw Jeanne standing by the kitchen sink with pursed lips.
“What’s this”? I asked stupidly.
“It’s a kitten.”
“I know it’s a kitten. What is it doing in our kitchen”?
“I found it out by the car. Shivering!” she added for emphasis.
At that point the cat shivered.
“See?” she said.
I ignored them both.
“Take it back. We’ve already got a dog.”
“But Heidi won’t mind” she pointed out.

Heidi is a good example of my strong ‘will power’. One day, four years ago, my wife suggested we get a puppy.
“No!” I said firmly. “They’re too much trouble”.
“What trouble can they be? You feed them and love them and they love you back.”
“You can feed and love me!”
“Its not the same” she pouted.
“But we live in an apartment. You can’t have pets in apartments!”
“Maybe we could get a house”?
“Get a HOUSE”? I roared! “Get a house ‘cause we got a dog” It was incredible! “Out of the question.”
A week later, she brought home a Beagle puppy. This was dirty pool. No one over two or under 70 could ever reject a Beagle puppy once they had it in their arms and I had it in my arms, compliments of Jeanne and her winning smile. We had our puppy. After all, I’m only human. Right?

“Take the cat back!” I repeated.
“But he’ll get lost!”
“He was already lost when you found him!” I exclaimed.
“It’s cold out side. He’ll freeze!”
“FREEZE?! It’s only 55 out! He won’t freeze ‘till he gets to 30” I reasoned.
“But he’s so cute and helpless. Can’t we keep him for just a little while?”
Now, have you ever heard of anyone keeping a puppy or a kitten for ‘just a little while’? I haven’t. After all, what harm can a little helpless kitten be. Besides, it would give Heidi company. We kept him. That’s the kind of guy I am.
By popular demand from the landlord, me moved.

We were lucky to have found this small farmhouse. It is pretty and rustic and secluded and we fell in love with it! There is a good view of the mountains from the back of the house. Surrounding the house is a fence that keeps Heidi away from the main road. ‘Squirt’ as we named the cat, Still goes wherever he wants which gives Heidi jealous fits. There are a couple of barns on the property and one is directly in back of the house. There are also a multitude of cats in and around the barns.
You guessed it!
I came home from work one night about three weeks ago. Nothing unusual there. I walked in the door and but my bucket down and kissed my wife, in that order, and did what I normally do when I get home at night. After about a half hour, I noticed this grey thing lurking in the shadows. It was a cat of a different color.
“What’s this?” I yelled.
“What’s what?” my wife answered from the kitchen.
“This cat” I explained.
“Oh, that’s the little cat I found limping out by the barn” she said simply.
At that, the little cat rose and ‘limped’ across floor.
“See, like that!” she said coming into the room.
“I think you two rehearsed this” I said accusingly.
“Don’t be silly.”
“It goes back where you found it!” I was going to be firm this time. After all, a man has to put his foot down some time. If I let this keep happening, there wouldn’t be room to put my foot down.
“It’s hurt and won’t be able to fend for itself” she said.
“The cat goes!”
“But it will be company for Squirt” she persisted.
“Squirt’s got Heidi for company.”
“All Heidi does is growl at him” she said sadly.
“Good for her” I murmured.
“You’re cruel” she said as she started to cry.
“Okay,” I relented, knowing what would happen if I continued. “I’ll make a deal with you. You can keep it on the front porch. I’ll make a bed for it and she stays out there!” “Okay?”
“Oh honey, you’re so sweet. I promise I won’t let it in very often”.
That phrase ‘very often’ makes me feel like I won the battle but lost the war. Secretly, I didn’t expect to win but I surely didn’t want her to know that. I wasn’t wrong. Before the week was out the cat was in, permanently. This brought the total up to a dog, two cats and a Gerbil. Oh yes, the Gerbil.

Have you ever owned Gerbils? We do. That was before they owned us. If it hadn’t been for my initiative and entrepreneurship, we would have owned them forever.
Some time ago my wife was working. There was a salesman in her office who often related funny little stories about his family and their Gerbils. His salesmanship was outstanding too as one day my wife came home with a pair. Meaning a boy and a girl. She excitingly ran out and bought an aquarium for them to live in. We also had to get litter and ‘toys’ to play with. We settled down to watching them grow and occasionally played with them on the floor and the table. A couple months later, we watched in awe to the miracle of birth. Six to be exact. We decided to buy a book on Gerbils to learn more about them. That book that we should have bought before that un-named salesman started his cute little stories.
It seems the female will destroy the offspring occasionally so we bought another aquarium and separated them. So now we had eight Gerbils and two aquariums. We also found in the book that Gerbils can have babies every 24 days. They’re also productive for about 8 to 10 months. You can do the math. I did! This could come to about 60 or so offspring from the original two alone. Talk about a population explosion!
Panic set in. In the ensuing months, we gave some to our families and some of our neighbors. We gave some to any Pet Stores that would take them. Anywhere we could find. Somehow, and I don’t know exactly how, we are down to one Gerbil and one aquarium. We had two but one died. We have six little shoe boxes buried in the front yard. These were prepared with tender love and tears by my wife. It was an experience!

I’d like to say that this story ends here but unfortunately, I don’t think it does. The other day while I was in the garage tying some flies and wistfully stealing an occasional glance at my fly-rod hanging on the wall., my wife approached me.
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Nuthin.”
“Whatcha gonna do?”
“Nuthin.”
“Hmm. Ah, how much trouble would it be to build a chicken coop?”
“What in HELL would you want to know THAT for?”
“Well, this friend of my Mother’s, you know, well she has this little banty rooster and she wants to get rid of it. My Mother don’t want it and I’m afraid what will happen to it.” All that in one breath!
“Bring it home” I said expansively.
“ You’re kidding. You really mean it?” She was ecstatic.
“Sure,” I said. “With the price of chicken the way it is these days…”
She left me alone the rest of the day. (and night).

The End